Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Home
Just flew in from Florida. I feel like hell, so tired and totally overwhelmed. Tragically my formerly future father in law (republican nudist) found out I was a liberal on this trip and I have been booted from the family. On a brighter note Will's mom welcomed me with open arms...WTF?!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
DAMMIT ALL TO FIERY F**KING HELL!
Current mood: bitchy
I get home at noon after having been up all night at work then having to drive to fucking Torrance for an audition and then there is no fucking parking because they are having a fucking Christmas festival and best of all my living room is flooded by really bad, out of tune, couldn't hit the right pitch if it landed on their face and wiggled, asshole with a microphone. And all I want to do is get some sleep.I hate my neighborhood.And Bah fucking Humbug!
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Hmmph... Current mood:I'm just not sure
I just don't know what to do with myself. I should be sleeping, or working. I should be doing anything except fucking around on the damn computer. I'm trying to decide between 3 photographers. All are too damn expensive. And I don't have a strong enough inclanation one way or another. But I do have a feeling that I will regret not picking the one I don't end up with.This makes no sense, I know. Get off my back, i'm tired.And apparently defensive for no reason. I'm just afraid I'm missing out on something. Not just photos, but something else that I can't put my finger on.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
I want...
Some peace and quiet!!!!Please, please, why is it so hard to just find a little downtime? I keep thinking I'm going to have a nice laid back week and then it all goes to hell in a handbasket.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Yay!
Current mood: pleased
I got Goonies on dvd AND I got the Muppet Show. I am having a happy little nostalgia party and eating tofuti cuties. It really doesn't get much better than this.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Urban Legend
Apparently the bit about too many carrots turning you orange is actually true.How do I know this, you ask?I just spent the morning at the dr's office to have her tell me that the yellowish tint to my hands and feet is not a liver problem but from too much carrot juice.fan-fucking-tastic!I'm not allowed to eat any orange vegatables for a month. That means no pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. Just kill me now.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Odd...
Current mood:dizzy
I feel remarkably refreshed for having just worked all night.
I am inhabiting some strange inbetween place. I know that I have many, many, very important things to do this week and yet I cannot seem to think of a single one of them right now.
I met the most remarkably pompous person last night. I must have stood there with the most stupidified look on my face for at least a good 10 minutes as he pontificated on his wonderfulness, the wonderfulness of his other job, how important he is (he even threw in a whacking off reference, which I find somewhat funny since he was verbally whacking off at the time). And of course it wasn't until he walked away that I thought of asking him, "If you are such hot poo, why in the hell are you working here?"
I know why I'm here and it certainly isn't for the "glamour and prestige" You probably have to see where I work to really understand, but just trust me when I say it is about as far from glamourous as a hotel can get without being a motel.
Though now that I think about it I realized that he was probably overcompensating. I know that sometimes when I meet someone for the first time I feel an inexplicable need to talk myself up, even though my head is saying "STOP IT! You sound like a total ass!" And yet I just keep talking knowing that I am making the worst possible impression.
I just noticed that I used the word "remarkably" twice in the first two paragraphs of this blog, hahaha, I have had WAY too much coffee and since I still have to force myself to do a workout this morning I am probably going to need more before I can go to bed.
I had better stop now, I think my self edit button is broken today and I don't want to dig myself in any deeper.
OK, just one more random observation. I found that song "My Humps" offensive the first time I heard it, but then I found out it was a Black Eye Peas song and now I actually enjoy it. I hope it is because I think that it was done tongue in cheek, whereas if it had been any other artist I think it would have been meant seriously in which case it is just icky.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Weekly Bitch Fest...
Current mood: discontent
What? You thought I was gonna blog about something perky and happy?
That would be really out of character for me. I speak when I'm happy, I write when I'm not.
I don't really have anything of particular importance to say, I just wanted to vent my spleen a little. I'm waiting for Lost to start. I thought it was on at 8, but it isn't on till 9 and for some reason that really chaps my fanny. I waited all afternoon, thinking, "I get to watch Lost!" And when I turned the channel George Lopez was on, dammit. Not that I really have any reason to be upset, it's not like I missed it, I just have to wait another hour, but still it bugs me.Saturday,
October 01, 2005
sigh...
Current mood: cranky
Don't know quite what is going on with me lately. So busy with rehearsal, trying to work out, trying to lose even more weight, putting in overtime at work. I wanted to be busy, but now all I want is to have my free time back.
Actually I think that while I am busy with rehearsal and very, very happy to be acting, I am so tired of all the other everyday distractions and necessities intruding. But what are you going to do? Me personally, for now I'm going to have a little pity party just for myself, maybe I will share it with Will in a little bit. And tomorrow I'm going to kick my own ass for being such a whiner.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
2005 Summertime...
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Family
Current mood:crazed & overwhelmed
My father drives me freaking nuts, up the wall, stark raving bananas, gibbering, foaming at the mouth crazy.I cannot deal with it when someone who has no industry experience and no concept of my actual day to day life starts giving me advice (ie: orders) about what I need to do to be successful.And when presented with a logical reason for why that wouldn't work the response is, "Don't argue with me."I love my father, I really do, and I am truly grateful for everything he has and is doing to help me out, but why do parents insist on trying to exert control over their adult, commen-sense having, not stupid children?
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Torn...
Current mood:mmmph
on one hand I just want to vent my spleen, bitch, bitch, bitch, I have a summer cold, blah! On the other hand I don't want to be negative because maybe if I can purge all the negative emotion it will purge the bad humours from my system.Nah...I'm just gonna sit and wallow in my own bile. I'm reveling in the grumpiness. Loving the poutiness that is me right now. Feeling totally anti-social and I think I am ok with that.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Heaven forbid...
Current mood:Blah
Heaven forbid that I should actually post a blog when I am feeling upbeat. No, I only feel like posting when I am needy, tired, cranky, feelin' chubby or whatnot.
On a side note, I hate the phrase "whatnot" very bad association, no idea why I was compelled to actually use it in a sentence.
But, back to business, where was I? Oh yes, feeling off, not quite right, had a crappy workout today, car is broken, just wanting to vent all my bile and discontent. Grouch, grouch, bitch, bitch, bitch. So that really didn't do much for my mood, but at least I am expressing myself.
Anybody want to brighten my day with some exciting news? Though I can't guarentee that I will be happy for you. I might just secretly resent you and sit here muttering to myself how unfair life is, but it is worth a shot.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Sigh...
Current mood:Moody
Home from work, gradually winding down towards oblivion. Are we born cynical? Was I always antisocial or did I learn it on the Los Angeles freeway? Or maybe in the customer service industry? I crave inspiration, laughter, stillness, sweetness, melancholy music.Probably my blood sugar is low, I haven't eaten in a while.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Gotta find that Zen place
Current mood:little bit lost
Contemplating a new job offer, probably not a step up, but a step sideways. Maybe a positve change, quite possibly a total disaster.Finished an acting class, starting a new one.Started a total body makeover on Monday, but too impatient for the final result. Why can't I just snap my fingers and transform myself?I feel like I am stuck in a holding pattern, as though each new thing will catapult me to the next level and when it doesn't I have to scramble for a new solution. The right combination must exist. Does anyone have a map?
Friday, June 17, 2005
Overwhelmed by the Universe
Suddenly there are so many decisions to be made. I love that there are options, but I feel as though I had better learn how to juggle really quick. AND the ever present question, money or art? Ok, so that isn't even really a question, but the money just looks so tempting sometimes. I just wish I could sleep while there is still time to do so.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
oohkay
Current mood: restless
I seem to be a permanent inhabitant of my restless self. Only now I can't switch cities to kick it cause I have reached my eventual destination. Grrrrr...Want to Rumpus! But I would settle for finishing my to do list.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Need to make Something Happen...
Current mood:disturbed
Sublime frustration. I am spending way to much time in places I don't want to be thinking about stuff I need to get done to get to be in the place I do want to be and in the end going nowhere except to bed.
Family
Current mood:crazed & overwhelmed
My father drives me freaking nuts, up the wall, stark raving bananas, gibbering, foaming at the mouth crazy.I cannot deal with it when someone who has no industry experience and no concept of my actual day to day life starts giving me advice (ie: orders) about what I need to do to be successful.And when presented with a logical reason for why that wouldn't work the response is, "Don't argue with me."I love my father, I really do, and I am truly grateful for everything he has and is doing to help me out, but why do parents insist on trying to exert control over their adult, commen-sense having, not stupid children?
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Torn...
Current mood:mmmph
on one hand I just want to vent my spleen, bitch, bitch, bitch, I have a summer cold, blah! On the other hand I don't want to be negative because maybe if I can purge all the negative emotion it will purge the bad humours from my system.Nah...I'm just gonna sit and wallow in my own bile. I'm reveling in the grumpiness. Loving the poutiness that is me right now. Feeling totally anti-social and I think I am ok with that.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Heaven forbid...
Current mood:Blah
Heaven forbid that I should actually post a blog when I am feeling upbeat. No, I only feel like posting when I am needy, tired, cranky, feelin' chubby or whatnot.
On a side note, I hate the phrase "whatnot" very bad association, no idea why I was compelled to actually use it in a sentence.
But, back to business, where was I? Oh yes, feeling off, not quite right, had a crappy workout today, car is broken, just wanting to vent all my bile and discontent. Grouch, grouch, bitch, bitch, bitch. So that really didn't do much for my mood, but at least I am expressing myself.
Anybody want to brighten my day with some exciting news? Though I can't guarentee that I will be happy for you. I might just secretly resent you and sit here muttering to myself how unfair life is, but it is worth a shot.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Sigh...
Current mood:Moody
Home from work, gradually winding down towards oblivion. Are we born cynical? Was I always antisocial or did I learn it on the Los Angeles freeway? Or maybe in the customer service industry? I crave inspiration, laughter, stillness, sweetness, melancholy music.Probably my blood sugar is low, I haven't eaten in a while.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Gotta find that Zen place
Current mood:little bit lost
Contemplating a new job offer, probably not a step up, but a step sideways. Maybe a positve change, quite possibly a total disaster.Finished an acting class, starting a new one.Started a total body makeover on Monday, but too impatient for the final result. Why can't I just snap my fingers and transform myself?I feel like I am stuck in a holding pattern, as though each new thing will catapult me to the next level and when it doesn't I have to scramble for a new solution. The right combination must exist. Does anyone have a map?
Friday, June 17, 2005
Overwhelmed by the Universe
Suddenly there are so many decisions to be made. I love that there are options, but I feel as though I had better learn how to juggle really quick. AND the ever present question, money or art? Ok, so that isn't even really a question, but the money just looks so tempting sometimes. I just wish I could sleep while there is still time to do so.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
oohkay
Current mood: restless
I seem to be a permanent inhabitant of my restless self. Only now I can't switch cities to kick it cause I have reached my eventual destination. Grrrrr...Want to Rumpus! But I would settle for finishing my to do list.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Need to make Something Happen...
Current mood:disturbed
Sublime frustration. I am spending way to much time in places I don't want to be thinking about stuff I need to get done to get to be in the place I do want to be and in the end going nowhere except to bed.
ungh...
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Current mood: apathetic
Should be going to sleep now, worked all night, but I am so tired of sleeping all day. So much to do. Grocery shopping, laundry, having a life. If I can just get through 1 more night of work. But I don't wanna work! Ok done whining. Guess I'll go to bed.
Current mood: apathetic
Should be going to sleep now, worked all night, but I am so tired of sleeping all day. So much to do. Grocery shopping, laundry, having a life. If I can just get through 1 more night of work. But I don't wanna work! Ok done whining. Guess I'll go to bed.
Bad idea
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Current mood:crazed
Ok so drinking wine and searching high school classmates is probably not a good idea, but... I spent the last seven days at work and will continue to do so for god only knows how long. At home trying to convince the love of my life that I like being poor without a safety net because we are chasing the dream, damn it. And it will all be worth it someday. It takes 10 years to be an overnight sucess.
It is exhausting being this fing positive all the time!
So I have a glass of wine and check out the General Hospital message board. Those bitches are crazy, and ABC replaced my favorite character with a transvestite (I SWEAR to everything holy) and it is just to much to deal with.
Current mood:crazed
Ok so drinking wine and searching high school classmates is probably not a good idea, but... I spent the last seven days at work and will continue to do so for god only knows how long. At home trying to convince the love of my life that I like being poor without a safety net because we are chasing the dream, damn it. And it will all be worth it someday. It takes 10 years to be an overnight sucess.
It is exhausting being this fing positive all the time!
So I have a glass of wine and check out the General Hospital message board. Those bitches are crazy, and ABC replaced my favorite character with a transvestite (I SWEAR to everything holy) and it is just to much to deal with.
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