me: you didn't want any blankets. him: no. right before you wake up you do an alligator death roll and yank all the blankets away. Then you look over and assume I just wanted the sheets.
I've seen monkeys with more restraint!
after I grabbed a piece of apple out of his hand
I told Will that I was going to shop online for new sheets, because ours have holes in them...
"Those are speed holes, they make the car go faster"
Apparently that is a Simpsons reference
"You're like a pirahna, there's no negotiation, you just come and eat."
After I raided his plate at dinner
"Most animals don't get caught in their own traps after they set them"
After I tripped over my purse that I had left on the floor
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