Just sitting here...

Eating my bran cereal, getting ready for an audition, to be followed by a drive to Irvine. Searching for the belief that everything is for a reason. That this is truly leading somewhere.

Good things do not come to those who wait. Good things come to those who get up and go after them.

I've got something in the cooker. It is now a team of two effort and I know that it is good.

AND thanks to a very determined friend of mine, I know that it is all very possible.

Struggling...

It is really difficult to marshall my thoughts into a coherant blog right now. It just seems like there is so much going on and my energy is so scattered in every conceivable direction. I almost feel as though I need somebody with a dog, a rope and a cattleprod to ride me into the corral.

As usual, I am searching for an outlet to direct my creative energies, preferably one that will a) not cost me alot of money and b)will benefit my career short or long term.

Sadly, it seems lately that all potentially beneficial career moves will at least cost me a whole lot of postage and at most several months rent.

Rent! Currently, yet another point of contention. I am trying to manifest a resolution that will not involve me going to the housing authority and having to file a lawsuit. I just feel like there are so many better, more worthwhile pastimes I could be pouring my energy into. BUT, in my belly I feel the fire of the righteously indignant. I have every right and reason to be outraged, but really would like to direct that effort elsewhere.

Still bouncing a screenplay around in my head, but making very little leeway and beginning to wonder just what exactly I will do with it, if I ever do actually get around to penning it. If I had a nickel for every actor that has a "brilliant" script somewhere in their home...

Then again, that is a very negative outlook and I am really trying to redirect my energies to the positive.

And just the fact that I typed the previous statement makes me want to drag my little pollyannna ass into an alley and administer a good old fashioned ass whipping for being such a self righteous prig.

For lack of a beter explantion, it would seem that the little angel and devil on my shoulders are engaged in a constant struggle for supremacy and in the meantime I sit and contemplate my navel lint.

I am looking for volunteers to come down here and light a fire under my ass. Or at least come and play with me and take my mind off of it all. Because if I ignore the situation, it is almost like it isn't happening at all!

Mission Statement...

Somebody asked me today to write myself a mission statement. What is my direction? What am I working to accomplish? How am I directing my focus? I am having major difficulty with this. I know what I want. I just don't know how to get there. Building an acting career is a somewhat intangible process. There is no roadmap. No tried and tested way of getting there. At least not that I've heard of. Maybe there is a secret society of... Oh wait, there is always the secret society of "my mommy or daddy is famous and now my talentless, lazy ass is going to ride their coattails into my own career, and then make up some bullshit story about how I did it all on my own and never traded on who my parents are." But dwelling on the negative is not going to accomplish anything. All of my relatives are useless in this aspect, so I guess I will just have to work this one through on my own. And don't get me wrong, I would totally trade on my family ties, if I had any to do so, but I don't, so I resent and despise anyone who does. Especially if they later try to deny the tie ala Kate Hudson or Bryce Dallas Howard. Back to the original point...mission statement...going to have to think on this for a bit.

Sigh....

I ran ten miles this morning! It was excrutiatingly painful and hotter than the backside of Hades. But it is done.

Started a new food program this week and have managed to adhere to it 2 of 5 days. But on a bright note I have increased my exercising to the point that it may not matter what I eat. We will see when I jump on the scale next week.

I am the ultimate wishful thinker.

Good to know...

The Boles family grapevine is in full effect.

It is hard to describe...

Imagine that every single little tidbit in your life travels at the speed of light and is discussed in great detail by every single member of your family.

OK, for example...

In the morning you are having a conversation with a sister and you happen to mention that your boyfriend likes to cuddle after sex. First off, that sister gets all, "Oh my God, I can't believe you just told me that!" Because heaven forbid anybody be open and not have any weird hangups when talking about sex. In the afternoon you are on the phone with another sister and out of nowhere..."I hear you and W*** like to cuddle after sex, Oh my God!" And at the next family gathering it is all anybody wants to talk about.

Gossip and judgement are the staple of my family's lives.

I talked to my Uncle this morning and I got an earful from my sister this afternoon.

Now if my uncle thinks I am being a dimwit, why rather than telling me, does he feel the need to call up my sister and discuss it with her?

Sometimes I feel like I am their favorite scandalous reality show.

I should just stop talking to all of them.

12 of 12 (Ok, so it is only 9 and I feel like a big old cheater)

Ok, I am cheating because I just don't have 12 pictures. I slept most of the day and then went to work and couldn't really take pics at work, and then it was after midnight and I figured the would really be cheating. So I am only cheating a little by shorting my pictures.

AND...I still can't seem to take a picture that is in focus with this damn camera. It is a digital Fujifilm FinePix A345 and if anyone has a suggestion it would be most welcome...

I woke up and went straight to the computer to check my email, hoping my Manager got back to me, because she emailed me 2 days ago and said she sent me 2 emails this month that I didn't respond to, and one of them was a casting call, and I think she is upset with me, but I never got any stinking emails, I triple checked, and how can she penalize me just because she can't type in my damn email address correctly?! And shouldn't she be calling my cell phone with auditions anyway? They are kind of too important to just relegate to am email, but hey, maybe that is just me...Sadly, there was no email response from her, and now I must endevor not to panic and assume my manager doesn't want to speak to me anymore.

Then I decided to crawl back in bed for a little bit, because who can resist the cuteness of these two?
Of course the extra cuddle time to make me feel better meant that I ended up leaving the house 19 minutes later than I was supposed to and now I will be praying all 20 miles to work that I make it on time.
I decided I might as well throw in some prayers to make it to work without running out of gas. (Also, there is nothing wrong with my damn brake light, but that little indicator light has been on for a month now.)

I made it to work only a few minutes late and reminded myself to get gas before driving home.

My work face. For once I did not apply my makeup in the car on the way to work, but then that probably contributed to my being late ...
There is a new rule at work that the opening waitress is required to take a half hour break, but since we have tables at all times we can't actually take a break because teamwork is a completely alien concept where I work...So I clocked out, ducked into the back and bolted down a burger and some grilled asparagus in about 5 minutes, went back on the floor for the last 25 minutes of my break then clocked back in.
Dan...it is quite possible that he is possesed by the devil.

And here are our busy little bartenders, pretending they don't see the drink tickets waiting to be made.

Finally, time to checkout for the night...count the money, write it all up, turn it in, drive 20 miles home and spend 40 minutes looking for a parking space.

AND I forgot to get gas, but somehow managed through force of will to hold off the little gas gauge light until I got off the freeway!

Weird, cranky neurotic 9 of 12 today.

Thank you to Chad!!!

12 of 12 June

It' s 12 of 12 and I still haven't got the knack of focusing the new digital camera, but please enjoy my slightly out of focus day! It heavily features Will, because I think he's super cute.


Here is Will, feeling a little cranky because I am about to force him(his words) to go grocery shopping with me. The new Anita Blake Novel! I was so excited when it came in the mail yesterday. I've been waiting forever for this to come out...
Apparently, I was a little too excited, I finished it around 3 o'clock this afternoon.
Now I have to wait for her to write another one. Will pointed and laughed and said, "I told you not to read it so fast."

And here is Will looking pissy because I left the car in a red zone while I unloaded the groceries.


And then I forced him to go running with me. Here is me laughing at him when he said he was going to kick my butt up the big hill.

And here he is eating humble pie after I kicked his butt up the hill

Kitty dinner time!

Washing the dishes before making dinner

I got a little carried away cooking dinner. I should have had a snack after the extra long workout. Instead I made a ridiculous amount of food.

Apple stuffing pork chops, spinach salad, green beans, and ghnocchi. It was really pretty, if I had managed to get the camera to focus, you could see it better, but no.

And then I stuck my thumb on the fresh out of the oven pan, burned myself and dropped everything on the floor!Will bought the "Planet Earth" dvd and put on the one about glow worms that trap their prey in long streamers of snot while we were eating dinner
After the glow worms they had a segment about bat guano and the cockroaches that eat it.

He thinks he's funny.

My manicure...again. It happens alot when I have a night off.

Dessert!

Bonus pic

I didn't really have a secret, but I hid ice cream under the strawberries as a suprise for Will.

Thanks Chad!