2005 Summertime...

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Family
Current mood:crazed & overwhelmed

My father drives me freaking nuts, up the wall, stark raving bananas, gibbering, foaming at the mouth crazy.I cannot deal with it when someone who has no industry experience and no concept of my actual day to day life starts giving me advice (ie: orders) about what I need to do to be successful.And when presented with a logical reason for why that wouldn't work the response is, "Don't argue with me."I love my father, I really do, and I am truly grateful for everything he has and is doing to help me out, but why do parents insist on trying to exert control over their adult, commen-sense having, not stupid children?

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Torn...
Current mood:mmmph

on one hand I just want to vent my spleen, bitch, bitch, bitch, I have a summer cold, blah! On the other hand I don't want to be negative because maybe if I can purge all the negative emotion it will purge the bad humours from my system.Nah...I'm just gonna sit and wallow in my own bile. I'm reveling in the grumpiness. Loving the poutiness that is me right now. Feeling totally anti-social and I think I am ok with that.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Heaven forbid...
Current mood:Blah

Heaven forbid that I should actually post a blog when I am feeling upbeat. No, I only feel like posting when I am needy, tired, cranky, feelin' chubby or whatnot.

On a side note, I hate the phrase "whatnot" very bad association, no idea why I was compelled to actually use it in a sentence.

But, back to business, where was I? Oh yes, feeling off, not quite right, had a crappy workout today, car is broken, just wanting to vent all my bile and discontent. Grouch, grouch, bitch, bitch, bitch. So that really didn't do much for my mood, but at least I am expressing myself.

Anybody want to brighten my day with some exciting news? Though I can't guarentee that I will be happy for you. I might just secretly resent you and sit here muttering to myself how unfair life is, but it is worth a shot.


Sunday, July 03, 2005

Sigh...
Current mood:Moody

Home from work, gradually winding down towards oblivion. Are we born cynical? Was I always antisocial or did I learn it on the Los Angeles freeway? Or maybe in the customer service industry? I crave inspiration, laughter, stillness, sweetness, melancholy music.Probably my blood sugar is low, I haven't eaten in a while.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Gotta find that Zen place
Current mood:little bit lost

Contemplating a new job offer, probably not a step up, but a step sideways. Maybe a positve change, quite possibly a total disaster.Finished an acting class, starting a new one.Started a total body makeover on Monday, but too impatient for the final result. Why can't I just snap my fingers and transform myself?I feel like I am stuck in a holding pattern, as though each new thing will catapult me to the next level and when it doesn't I have to scramble for a new solution. The right combination must exist. Does anyone have a map?

Friday, June 17, 2005

Overwhelmed by the Universe

Suddenly there are so many decisions to be made. I love that there are options, but I feel as though I had better learn how to juggle really quick. AND the ever present question, money or art? Ok, so that isn't even really a question, but the money just looks so tempting sometimes. I just wish I could sleep while there is still time to do so.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

oohkay
Current mood: restless

I seem to be a permanent inhabitant of my restless self. Only now I can't switch cities to kick it cause I have reached my eventual destination. Grrrrr...Want to Rumpus! But I would settle for finishing my to do list.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Need to make Something Happen...
Current mood:disturbed

Sublime frustration. I am spending way to much time in places I don't want to be thinking about stuff I need to get done to get to be in the place I do want to be and in the end going nowhere except to bed.